Day Two

I have completed Day One. I made good choices. I decided to eat carrots in the afternoon (a lot of them) to help me feel satisfied, whereas I would have reached for the Chex Mix, which is sitting in my cupboard right now. I did *think* about the Chex Mix a few times yesterday, thinking how easy it would be to go get it.... but then decided against it.

I did that with the Pepsi yesterday, too. Those blue cans (four of them, to be exact) were sitting in the can holder in the 'fridge and it was hard to not just stand there and stare at them. I did.... I looked at them for about 2 minutes, and then shut the door. I thought: what will I gain by drinking that, other than pounds, of course? Satisfaction? Sure, for about the 10 minutes that it took me to consume it. Then I would beat myself up, convince myself that I can't do this, that it is too hard and I don't want to make the effort, and then eat like normal for the rest of the day.

Yes, I will have my slip-ups. I will have a lot of them. But I am retraining myself. I *know* what I need to eat. It is making myself do what I know that is so hard. I told my sister in law yesterday on the phone that I started WW yesterday, and that my kids are feeding off of that (i.e. know that something isn't *right* with Mommy and running with it). It is hard. It will be hard. And it will be hard once I reach lifetime status. But I can see myself there. I can see myself weighing 160 pounds. I can see myself being able to fit into things that I want to wear, not have to wear.

I was going to go workout this morning, but I decided against it since I was up about five times between midnight and 5:30, listening to Jenna cry out and then convince McCayla that she had to sleep in her room after having a bad dream. So I will be going tomorrow morning, and then on Friday morning with my Mom. Curves is a great place. I don't have to think about anything. I just do what I need to do, and go about my day. 30 minutes out of my day and that is it. It is amazing to me how much I HATE to workout, but then when I think about it, it is 33 minutes. 33 minutes. That is all.