Day Five

My husband and I had a nice discussion last night. He had been asking me about when Curves was open today, and whether I was working out. Well, he had already asked me that question earlier in the evening, and I felt like he was pressuring me. I told him that I needed to set a boundary (trying to utilize what I am learning from my Bible study about setting boundaries in marriage) about this weight loss/working out issue. I told him that this is going to be a long, hard road for me, and that there will be times when I need his support. But right now, his idea of support is not mine, it is pushing. So we had a nice discussion, he understood how I was feeling, I understood better how I was feeling, and things were good.

Now I am depressed because I was thinking that Curves was open until 1. They are only open until 11, with the last person allowed in at 10:30. Well, it is 10:31 now. And I seriously am depressed... well, ok. Depressed is a little harsh. I am disappointed.

I can tell that my sister and my mother know that it is different this time, too. I was talking to my sister this morning, and we were talking about my habits, my self-esteem, my weight issues, why I eat, things like that. She just knows. My Mom keeps telling me that I am going to be a whole new woman when it is all over. I said I am, and she said "won't it just be fun to buy all new clothes again?" That is what I look forward to the most, I think. Well, that and being able to play with my kids, have more energy, etc. But this is about me this time. This is MY weight loss. This isn't weight loss for an event. This isn't weight loss for a person. This is MY weight loss. Mine, all mine!!!!